Mafia Gazette Past Issue 170
The Mafia Gazette Issue 170 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Saturday 16th January 'CITIZEN DECLARES OPEN SEASON ' The curious and the amused gathered in the streets recently following an announcement from a Mr MadDog, citizen of Miami, that he would pay thirty million dollars each for the heads of two family leaders. Mr Lorenzo Palmintiere and Mr Nino Salerno were named as the targets of any who wished to take up the offer of the money. Mr Palmintiero, family head of Los Angeles and Mr Salerno, successor to Ronin in Las Vegas stand accused by Mr MadDog of being remiss in their duties as family heads. Their family members have, according to Mr MadDog, systematically terrorised citizens by kidnapping and mugging them for their possessions and money and using them as excuses for kills and, since the time of Ciro, it has been generally accepted that a family leader is responsible for the actions of their members. In an interesting twist however, another member of the community, a Mr Santiago Melissari came to the streets to challenge Mr MadDog on his recent comments and threats. Mr Melissari already questioned Mr MadDog during the discussions over the hits on the leaders, and this appears to have prompted Mr Melissari to start his own line of questioning regarding what he calls â€œkick-upsâ€ to family heads and questioning whether Mr MadDog should be immune to attacks on his personal wealth when he contributes nothing to the families. Mr MadDog stated that his family line had already paid out millions to families, and he continues that practice. Mr Melissario has also suggested that if Mr MadDog is not content with the way things are run in Las Vegas or Los Angeles that Mr MadDog should consider relocating to another city. As Mr MadDog resides in Miami, this suggestion was met with derision, as he stated that the family members from Los Angeles and Las Vegas travel to Miami and â€œtrash the townâ€. Should citizens be awarded the right to declare hits on those they feel unworthy of their positions? We at the Gazette will be following this story closely and will be bringing you developments as they happen. 'NEW COFFEE SHOP OPENS ' A new coffee shop catering to the whole community has opened up its doors. The coffee shop, curiously named â€œ#mafia.orgâ€ has been opened on the busy irc Avenue by a member of the community keen to see a place where all can mingle and talk, rather than having exclusive venues. The owner, a Miss Mother, has been a long-standing member of the community, counting her time with us from the days of the old and bold- RumbleFish and sims, LazyBoy and Larry. She now aims to bring the community closer with the coffee shop venture and hopes to foster some good relations between those that may have had ancestral feuds. We wish her well with the venture and hope that many of the community will become regular patrons of the new coffee shop. 'CITY AND FAMILY NEWS ' LOS ANGELES The Priesthood recently set up shop in Los Angeles after the death of Dizzy left the city vacant. The family name may be familiar to some, having been around the streets for a long time but this is the first time in years that it is being run by the bloodlines of two of the original founders. LorenzoPalminteri and MrRipley have announced that they will be running operations in Los Angeles as co-leaders after both rising through the ranks of the Kempeitai organisation. This unusual leadership arrangement is one that hasnâ€™t been seen since the Priesthood began many years ago, it remains to be seen if they will be able to make this work in practice. Since setting up shop in Los Angeles in the past week this new outfit have been growing steadily, with JohnnyQuid and Krazy_train earning promotion to Made Man. In the past few days the Godfather has seen it fit to promote Capo LorenzoPalminteri to Boss, giving the family the opportunity to further progress under him. However, in other news Citizen MadDog has seen it fit to place a hit of 30 million dollars on the head of Lorenzo, as well as on Las Vegas Consigliere Nino_Salerno. His discontent stems from him being mugged and kidnapped by unnamed members of the Los Angeles and Las Vegas outfits. Many believe that the familyâ€™s continued growth depends on Lorenzoâ€™s survival. We will bring you any developments on this as they come to us. 'GAZETTE SEEKING ARTICLE WRITERS ' Your new Mafia Gazette is seeking to recruit freelance writers to add to the pages of your community newspaper. We are looking for writers to report on city news, as in the Los Angeles article on page 3, and will also be looking for reviewers for the city businesses. General reporters would also be welcome, and our readers are also invited to send letters to the Gazette Editor commenting on community issues or previous articles. We will also be carrying advertisements for businesses should these be sent in and hope to be able to offer a competition with prize money in the near future. To contact the newspaper, please write to our Editor In Chief, Miss Tallulah Giunta at the Gazette offices in Chicago. 'NEW GODFATHER IN NEW YORK ' We will be bringing you this story in our next issue. Our reporter is on the scene endeavouring to obtain the full story from Mr Fall himself. In the meantime, we at the Gazette would like to congratulate the communityâ€™s second Godfather on his achievement.